The Making of The Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page

By Dave Voorhis


We're so proud. The popularity of the Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page has surpassed even our wildest dreams -- and trust me, we DO have wild dreams. Why, just the other day I dreamt that I was standing NAKED in a pool of-...
Never mind.

Congratulations on recognizing that the picture is actually a link. Very few people do. You must be a very special person. You are so special, in fact, that you DESERVE to know what it's all about. You probably ALSO deserve to be repeatedly flogged with hard objects, but we'll leave that for another place and another day. BUT DON'T PUT IT OFF! You NEED that flogging, and we want to hear that you've received it!

History and Explanation

Anyway, it all came about like this: I was in Bob's office one day, and we were idly discussing Web pages. We were talking about creating a page for one of the partners in our company, Armchair Airlines, when suddenly I noticed a wee red screwdriver on Bob's desk. I picked it up. I saw that a small machine screw had been inserted into a hole in the handle. At that instant, I was near to struck dumb by a bolt of philosophical lightning, a Fundamental Question that blasted into my brain and would not leave: In a universe with only one screwdriver, HOW COULD YOU SCREW A SCREW INTO THE HANDLE!!!??? I was overcome with feelings I could not describe, but I had to share those feelings with the world. Enfevered with the creative fire that had seized me, I desperately searched the office for the means to capture my Muse. Bob suggested I put the screwdriver in our HP scanner, which I did. Unfortunately, that wasn't satisfactory. Then Bob suggested that I SCAN the screwdriver. This I did, and on June 7, 1995, after months of hard work and artistic struggle, the Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page was born.

Some have asked why the URL has "shust" in it. As you may have noticed, one of the partners in our company is Dave Shust. He's the one we were talking about making a Web page for at the moment I discovered The Screwdriver. For a few days, the Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page was actually linked to his entry on our company home page. At the time, it all seemed to fit together, but once the raptus had passed and I was left with THIS platter of skins, the connections that had once seemed so obvious were no longer made sense. Despite some of his family's rather laughable attempts at drawing a parallel between his personality and the page, the page and The Screwdriver have NOTHING to do with Dave Shust. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER!!! Ok?


I am eternally indebted to Gravis Corporation, the folks who made the object in question.

On July 24, 1995, we were honored to receive a link on Mirsky's Worst of the Web. Upon discovering this, I wept openly. I am truly not worthy of such recognition. Thanks, Mirsky.

Thanks to Netscape Corp. for their browser. That .JPG at the top of this page is a capture-ization of a Netscape Navigator window. This page ain't particularily "Netscape Enhanced" or anything, but, hey, I like their browser. Now somebody hurry up and make a BETTER one before they turn into another Microsoft.

Kudos to the other dudes at Armchair Airlines who right now are busy working their l'il butts off EARNING MONEY so I can slack off doing WORTHLESS JUNK like this...

Your Turn!

How has the Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page affected your life? Do you have other comments or insights? You can email them to me at

If you are so stunned by the magnitude of this work that you can't think, I've done a little thinking for you; maybe the following will help:

The preceding font of enlightenment and The Gravis Joystick Screwdriver Home Page are copyright © 1995 Dave Voorhis. All Rights Reserved. What, did you think I was just going to give 'em to you?